nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
