after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The adults are the big ones right?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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