You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
People in love make me want to vomit
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
