He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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