so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
