Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
