i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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