i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
