drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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