Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
