Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize