Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
