You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize