she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
