so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize