Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
