College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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