I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
