I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
