whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
