yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
