I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
