I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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