First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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