i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
