Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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