i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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