yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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