This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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