You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
