Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
