and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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