Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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