I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
