Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
