told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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