oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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