He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize