she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
