We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
