..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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