he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
