I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize