This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
