Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
