Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
