do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize