Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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