It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
