So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
