I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
