Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
