the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
