Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
