Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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