I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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