So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
