Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Panties = found
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