What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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