people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
