i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
