Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
