My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
