i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
this must be what syphilis tastes like
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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