I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
