I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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