smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
