no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
worst night to have a conscience
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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