Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
