I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
